Movie Review: The Last Kung Fu Monk

MV5BMTg2NTQ5OTk4Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODYzNTEzOQ@@._V1_SY317_CR6,0,214,317_ Ok I watched this film the other day and was so annoyed I had to write a review to help other people not fall into the trap of wasting almost two hours of your life watching it, like I did.

The premise is simple; there is no premise for the vast majority of this picture as it floats along aimlessly ending up with the standard ‘fighting a series of opponents on the dancefloor of a random nightclub’ finale.
The production values mirror a low budget Australian TV movie from the 80’s. The script was devised by a nursery group and the actors are reasonably well choreographed but incapable of acting.

The music is awful as is the sound in general; there’s one scene where the leading actress leaves a garage, shot from the inside – you see her walk out then milliseconds later, leaving her enough time to take half a step, a sound effect of a car starting up and driving off overwhelms all the other sound. The other actors stop whilst the car sound disappears then resume where they left off.

There are so many excruciating moments like that the film is difficult to watch. Don’t get me started on the kid in it too. The most annoying, whiny kid I’ve ever seen on screen. No idea why he’s even in it, he’s not central to any of the plot, he doesn’t get kidnapped and he doesn’t learn Kung Fu off the old master. The only reason I watched it for so long was because I was hoping the bad guys (also laughable) might catch and torture the kid, or at least give him a good smack to the face, but no they concentrated on a random side character who has barely a word to say in the film…

On the plus side, there are a couple of nice bits of kung fu maybe 2% of the film, you can probably watch them on YouTube without having to sit through the other 98% which in some parts is crap and other parts is just fucking awful. This film was released in 2010!!??! I could do a better job with my phone! 🙁
Rating: No Stars at all.